Ultimate Love Advice

2003-09-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

Letter:
hi i have been dating a girl fo about a month now and i dont know if the girl i like still wants to be in a relationship with me how do i know if she wants to?

sincerely, love bug

It depends on what type of person your girlfriend is. If she's expressive/open, she'll tell you if there's something wrong. If she's secrative or shy, it's most likely that she'll drop the occasional hint. Watch out for comments that express negativity towards the two of you as a couple. If you continue to be worried, ask her. Say, "So, how are you feeling about us?" or, "Do you have any ideas for cool places for us to go in the future?". These questions give her an oppertunity to tell you what's up. Don't ask if anything is wrong, because that implies that you have a problem. I hope things work out. Good luck!

2003-08-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

Letter:
Dr. R,
I've been with my gf [girlfriend] for 3 months. I think i love her, but i'm not sure. What is love?

This is a confusing question. Love doesn't come instantly, your relationship has to go through the 5 stages of love first. 1) Attraction- Attraction happens when two people are interested in eachother, and want a relationship. 2)Romance- Romance is a stage in which you try to gain favor of another by gift giving, or trying to impress them. 3)Passion- Passion is the need to be with one another physically. This is where kissing comes in, too. ; ) 4) Intimacy- Being intimate with another means to be really close, both physically and emotionally.
5) Commitment- A pledge to be true to your mate through good times and the bad. Commitment doesn't only apply to marraige. It can be used for boyfriend/girlfriend situations, too.
Don't be afraid to admit how you feel, or advance to the next step. Love is worth the effort.

2003-08-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

Letter:
Dear Ruth,
Recently, I have met a girl that I really like. There is only one problem: I am a little self-conscious about the way I look. I mean, I'm not exactly a bodybuilder, and I don't know if physical beauty is something she really looks for. Do you think she'll care?

Self-consciousness is normal when you're around someone you like. I think a girl that really likes you won't care what you look like. Being attractive is a bonus- a good personality is what really counts.

2003-08-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

Letter:
Dear "Dr." Ruth,
I have been taking a class in theater lately, and there is one girl I've had my eye on. The problem is that four other girls like me, and I don't want to break their hearts. Should I pursue the one that I really like, and keep the others as friends?
-Willy Wonka

Well, just because other girls like you, doesn't mean they own you. Go for the girl you like, and if you get rejected, go for the next best. It sounds like you don't want to be hurtful to anyone, so be nice and act like a friend. Try not to flirt with the other girls, because that will lead them onto think you like them. Be happy!

2003-07-09T15:01:00.000-07:00

I have liked someone for a long time now, and I don't know how to let the them know this. can you help?
-drew

Yeppers. This is a common problem. You have a secret crush, and want to tell her. Well, if you're the kind of person that always cuts to the chase: Tell her loud and clear. Say, "I like you." If you're more shy, drop the occasional hint. Give this girl some specail attention, and maybe show off a little. Don't be self-absorbed, but try to emphasize your good points.

For starters, ask her out with a group of friends. Get to know eachother better. Then, at the end of the evening say, "We should do this again sometime," or "Wanna meet me at the movies for a second round?" Act friendly and casual. This way, she won't be scared off, (the thought of a date sometimes freaks people out). Mainly, work your way into being a charming friend, she'll get the message eventually.... and there's a chance she'll like you back. Good luck.

2003-07-03T12:17:00.000-07:00

Letter:
HOW do you figure out if a guy likes you with out being obvious...and what are some signs that he likes you?
-Anonymous

There are a bunch of ways u can try to find out if a guy likes you:1- Ask his friends. 2- Ask him out on a group date. That way you're not being obvious, but you're offering an oppertunity. 3- If you two go on a group date, give him "extra attention " And try to be near him. Once he gets the hint, it'll be up to him to make a move.
Ok, the major sign that he likes u would be what I was talking about before. If he tries to be near you at all, or if he gives you any type of specail attention or "time giving". If he likes you, he'll want to be with you.
Oh- and if you think that he's shy at the time to make his move, ask him out. There's nothing wrong with that. Good Luck!

2003-07-03T12:05:00.000-07:00

Letter:
Hey Dr.Ruth, what's the point in having a girlfriend anyway? everyone I hook up with has hurt me. I just want to know if it's worth it to ask a new girl out.
- I don't get it

Well, there IS a point in having a girlfriend. It's simply to practice for later in life. OK, when you want to settle down and get married, (of course not right away) you're gonna have to start out with a girlfriend. With this one, you REALLY don't want to mess up. So, having a girl now can train you for the big leauge. Also, getting married is a big step. You don't want to screw up and get the wrong type of girl. Dating different types now will show u what type you really want to settle down with... It's all about practice.

2003-06-30T14:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey. I'm Dr. Ruth, and you've come to the right place if you need help. I'm a teenager who spends all of her time reading articles about life, love, and friendship. I've had lots of experience with peer pressure, romance & love, sex, ect. I think I've collected enough information to help others, so read my articles, and Ask Away! Email me! (Use the link on the sidebar)